I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
