It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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