Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
