I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Randomize
