omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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