Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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