We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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