why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
