Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
