Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
