I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
