i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
