Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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