i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
