you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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