when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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