well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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