just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
