We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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