Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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