I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
