But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize