Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
