Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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