My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
