This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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