I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
