I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
