Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
