but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
