He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
