I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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