Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
