Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
