very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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