But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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