how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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