I will die if light touches me.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
