That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize