Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
