Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
