its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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