Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
