guys are not supposed to queef...right?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
