I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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