Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
