i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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