Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
