I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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