i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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