I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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