did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
