This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
handjob tips. give me some.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
