pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
